Therapy just isn't my thing...
Therapy is for people in crisis, right? Don't be so sure!
It is true that often it takes a crisis for us to reach out for support. Maybe something major suddenly turned life upside down or maybe slowly, over time, things became heavy or uneasy. The norms we created feel far from satisfactory and the years have rolled by on a treadmill of the daily grind. Although we have sprinkled the years with holidays or nights out, new buys or Netflix binges, the sparkle always fades leaving us in search of the next glimmer of joy along the way. Within it all we seem to loose touch with ourselves.
I often wander what we would find if we stop searching.
What would our minds tell us if we stop over thinking? What would we feel is we weren't too busy to notice? What truths do our bodies hold? How are we living?
We have gotten so used to our fast paced lifestyle that we seldom take a minute to stop and think about how we are living today. As long as nothing is terribly wrong and the status quo is in order, then what is there really to reflect on, right? But maybe this misses the point. Does it take for something to go wrong for us to take care of ourselves or even desire to know ourselves? Should we go hard at life until something snaps and leave it until then to concern ourselves with 'Wellbeing'. What if being 'well' requires knowledge, awareness, maintenance and reflection? How can we repair from the difficult times without these skills?
Repairing anything without knowledge can be a struggle and you are unlikely to find a Youtube tutorial on yourself (unless you create one!!)
What if 'fulfilment' and 'happiness' require you to know yourself, your passions, your values, your limitations and your needs. For me, therapy is an investment in all of the above. A place for me to be honest with myself and with another. It is my most comfortable place to be when the shit hits the fan as well as when I am on top of the world.
I am often led to wander - What if Therapy isn't just for crisis, what if it is also for maintenance and success?
Sally Brampton, journalist and former editor of Elle magazine had a glamorous life style and to the outside world “had it all‟. However, depression drove her to addiction and suicide attempts. After her recovery, she wrote about her experiences. This is an extract from an article she wrote for the Sunday Times in 2009
“I used to think therapy was indulgent, or even wilfully narcissistic. I certainly didn’t think it was for me. That was before I was in sufficient emotional pain to seek it out. Having since benefited from it enormously, I now think of it as a necessary part of emotional health. Talking to friends may be helpful, but friends are too emotionally attached to be objective. Their desire is to comfort, not to point out uncomfortable truths. Therapy is not comfortable, nor is it magic. It requires brutal emotional honesty and a willingness to take responsibility for our own behaviour”.